Herbal Health

What emotions you have is less important than what you do with them.

Strong emotions are not a problem unless they keep you from doing the right things. They are your body’s communication system for letting you know how you are doing and what you need to work on. Instead of worrying about the fact that you are so fearful, spend your energy exploring the source of your fears and ways to tame them. If you are angry, discover the source of your anger and find ways to dissipate or resolve your anger.

No matter what you are feeling, do the right thing.

A fireman is a professional who learns to brave flames and save burning victims, no matter what fear of flames or revulsion at burning flesh he or she feels. You can learn how to be a professional survivor, doing the right thing to prevent and stave off problems, no matter what you are feeling. Do the right thing for your overall health, no matter how you look or feel doing it. If you cannot, because of fear, emotions, or uncertainty about what the right thing is, get help.

Recovery after cancer is a family affair.

The cancer experience happened to you and everyone around you. Recovery, too, is a family affair. Despite the relief that your treatment is over, everyone has heightened anxiety and worry. Roles change, feelings are unleashed, and new problems surface. You will help yourself by being tuned in to those around you. Illness and recovery do not release you from the need to be sensitive to those around you, as much as you can.

Focus on what you can do to help your recovery
and maintain your renewed health.

There are many things you can do to facilitate your recovery and preserve your renewed health. Instead of worrying about bad things that could happen or things you cannot control, focus on realistic ways to strengthen your physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Efforts toward progress, no matter how small, are life enhancing.

Worrying about your past or your future poisons your present.

Regretting or worrying about what you did, what you did not do, and what you could have done is a waste of time, energy, and emotion. You can never change the past. If you find yourself ruminating on the past, train yourself to focus on what you can do now to improve your health and enrich your life emotionally and spiritually.

Worrying about your future is also a waste of time, energy, and emotion. You may be worrying about a problem that will never materialize, in which case a nonexistent problem is causing you distress. Worrying now will not help you get through a situation that does develop in the future; it just prolongs and deepens the pain caused by the problem. You do not have to be free of all anxiety about your future before you can enjoy your present. Whenever you feel that you are living in a never-never land of “wait and see,” try to think of yourself as surviving in the land of “live and see.”

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(for men) What Causes Impotence?

Impotence is the inability of a man to achieve and maintain an erection. It can be temporary or permanent, partial or complete. Things that affect sexual function include

• damage to nerves of the sexual organs

• damage to vessels of sexual organs

• damage to the sexual organs

• depression or grief

• side effect of current medications

• aftereffect of cancer medications

• fatigue

•anxiety, depression, or emotional stress

• change in emotional relationship with sexual partner

• pain

(for women) What Causes Decreased Lubrication? Decrease or Loss of Orgasm?

Lubrication and orgasm can be affected by

• hormonal changes

• medication

• damage to nerves to genitals from surgery or radiation

• damage to lining of female genital tract from chemotherapy

• damage to lining of female genital tract from local radiation

• genital infection

• depression, grief, anxiety, or emotional stress

• change in emotional relationship with sexual partner

• pain

If I Have Experienced a Change in Ну Sexual Functioning, What Can I Do?

Do not assume that sexual difficulties are due to an emotional problem. Discuss with your oncologist the changes you have noticed. Find out whether your cancer or its treatment could have played a role in the change in your sexual function. Ask whether you can expect your problems to resolve by themselves and how quickly you can expect to see a difference. Learn about everything you can do to help your sexual function recover. Treatment options include

• medications

• surgery

• individual counseling

• support groups or group counseling

• family or couple counseling

• behavioral therapy

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Fatigue is intimately related to sexual function and desire. Many of the problems that cause fatigue, such as low estrogen or testosterone levels, also impair libido and sexual function. Keep your doctor aware of any change in sexual function, because it will help him or her determine the cause and appropriate treatment for your
fatigue as well as your diminished sexual function and desire.

Grief, so common during recovery, is a physiological as well as psychological process that can cause both decreased libido and listlessness. As you grieve your losses, you may have no interest in sex for a while. However, if this lack of interest persists, consult with your doctor because physical or emotional issues other than grief may be responsible for it.

On a practical level, if your daily activities sap every last ounce of your energy, none is left for sex. In addition, the ongoing stress of dealing with the limitations imposed by your low energy can lead to chemical or hormonal changes in your body that manifest themselves as diminished sexual function. These changes can occur despite a positive attitude, emotional stability, and optimal social circumstances.

However, human sexuality is a highly complex phenomenon. Since sexual interest and function are influenced by your environment and emotional state, fatigue may indirectly inhibit them. For example, relationships strained by your lack of enough energy to perform (housework, child care, or job) are less conducive to sexual enjoyment.

Anxiety, low self-esteem, and fear about your changed body sometimes, subconsciously, may lead you to avoid sexual activity through crippling fatigue. Recognizing when this is a contributing factor will help you deal with the real issue: adjusting to your changed body image. Resolution of this problem will encourage a return to normal sexual activity.

Is There Something Wrong with Me If I Don’t Think about My Cancer?

As long as you are responsible about your posttreatment health care and follow-ups, it is great if you do not think about your cancer. If your cancer required relatively brief, easily tolerated therapy, if your prognosis is good, and if your cancer experience did not change your outlook on life, then it would be expected and healthy for you to forget about your cancer most of the time.

If you do not think about your cancer, because when you do you experience uncomfortable, even intolerable feelings, then you are repressing, not forgetting, memories of your cancer experience. It is best if your cancer history and cancer experience become integrated parts of your past.

What If I Miss Going for Treatment?

Inconvenient and uncomfortable as treatment may have been, it had its good sides:

• You had the comfort of knowing that you were doing something active to treat your cancer.

• You were the recipient of undivided attention.

• People were gentle and sympathetic toward you.

• You felt like everyone else at the doctor’s office; outside the medical setting you may feel like

the only cancer patient.

What Can I Do if I Miss Being a Patient?

Recognize the sources of your anxiety and allay it through knowledge, hope, and action. Savor the current success of your treatment, no matter how uncertain the future. Relish your liberation from treatments, visits, and tests.

You can replace the missing interactions by making efforts to get together with new people who understand your situation, needs, and emotions. Support groups and professional counseling can fill in some of the gaps during this transition to a new normal life.

If you find yourself wishing you were still a patient and reluctant to resume the interactions and responsibilities of healthy people, it may be helpful to reexamine the life you are reentering-Your illness may have functioned as a shield against unpleasant aspects of your everyday existence as a healthy person. Take stock of your values, priorities, and goals. Think about how your personal and professional pursuits do and do not satisfy you.

It is normal to miss some aspects of being a patient. However, if you wish you were still a patient, that is a signal to make changes in your circumstances or your relationships. This may be the time for you to confront issues that you avoided prior to your illness. Professional help is available if you need support and guidance during this period of readjustment.

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Should I Tell a Prospective Employer about My Cancer History?

Whether or not you tell a prospective employer will depend on

• whether secondary effects of your cancer or its treatment might interfere with your job performance

• whether the type of relationship you expect to have with your boss would be hampered by withholding information about your cancer history or enhanced by sharing the information

What Are the Advantages of Telling My Boss or Co-workers about My Cancer?

Sharing your cancer history can be beneficial for many reasons. If you have some residual changes that are obvious, such as visible healing scars, the need to void very often, or a chronic cough, there will be no misunderstanding about why you look or act the way you do. You will not have to put up quite as convincing a front on difficult days. It can be stressful to try to hide the fact of your cancer history and to try to figure out how someone else might deal with it if he or she found out. You will not have to create excuses or explanations when you need to make schedule changes for tests and checkups.

Another benefit of informing your co-workers and boss about your cancer is that you may find an important support system at work.

What Are the Disadvantages of Sharing Your Diagnosis at Work?

There may be significant disadvantages to sharing your diagnosis at work. For example,

• you may have to deal with others’ concerns, fears, or prejudices about your situation (“Any sign of recurrence?”)

• people’s genuine concern may remind you about your cancer on days when you would have forgotten about it (“How are you doing? When is your next checkup?”)

• you may be disappointed by some people’s discomfort with your situation or by their lack of concern or sympathy when you need it.

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