A sternly moralistic upbringing may also lead to the man’s inability to express any emotions. He has been taught (or has learned) to control his emotions, particularly anger, which he suppresses. He also tends to avoid emotional closeness with his partner, although he feels an ‘obligation’ to please her.

A few men with the disorder fear that if they ejaculate within their partner’s vagina, she will become pregnant. The man may fear that a pregnancy – and more particularly, a baby – will lead to a conflict in the woman’s mind, and reduce her devotion to him. These men are immature in their personal relations and need help to establish better communication with their partners.

A study of case reports shows that a variety of conflicts can cause ejaculatory incompetence. These include the belief, due to a strict religious upbringing, that sex is ‘dirty’; conflicts from a real or imagined ‘power game’ with the partner; conflicts over the fear that the man will be abandoned by his partner unless he is a sexual superman; conflicts from the memory of a traumatic sexual experience; or conflicts from a fear of failure, occasioned by a transient inability to ejaculate, which, as I have mentioned, is normal.


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