YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WIVES’ SEXUALITY: IS YOUR WIFE’S TYPE THE MADONNA?

I was raised to be special, I mean that sex was special If he wanted a tramp, he should have married one.

WIFE

This wife assumes her husband’s projected image of her and becomes the pure, motherly, sisterly person in her husband’s life rather than his equal partner. This wife feels elevated to a pedestal, lonely and on display. She senses that her husband sees other women as more sexual and sees her as a “nice woman.” She adjusts by either filling the madonna role even more or tries, usually in vain, to compete with the vague image of a “loose” woman. Both attempts fail because she is neither. She struggles unsuccessfully to find her lost sexual identity because she is looking for it through her husband’s eyes rather than her own. Her love map is being drawn for her. The madonna/whore and lover/playboy dichotomies play themselves out in male/female sexual interaction. They are extreme routes on the love maps formed in a punitive, hypocritical society. They are labels that hamper the development of adult sexual maturity.

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